Assessing myself is by far the most challenging thing I can do. I do try and face facts and be honest about where I am in life; however sometimes the answers aren't pretty. The loving-kindness exercise is becoming easier because I have for very long believed I loved others, but I had far too many issues with myself to be able to fully love another. Having said that I am very brutal with myself and far more generous to others, so clearly that is something I need to work on, what do you think? LOL
Secondly, getting back to the question at hand I am really enjoying and receiving benefit from the Loving-kindness exercise because I am creating a love for myself and showering me with the love I desire. Moving forward the assessment was not as polarizing as I believed. Not much was revealed that I did not know.
The areas I identified for growth and enhancement are as follows:
Psychospiritual - Conative
Biological - Fitness
Interpersonal - Family
Worldy - Social Activism
I believe I am strong in all of these areas however; I selected conative, because although I act and am self directed I believe there is more I can do. I believe based on my assessment that I can put more energy towards this area of my life, emotionally I am very strong and balanced and cognitively I am also very balanced and strong.
Regarding the biological aspect of the assessment, I chose fitness, because I have directed less energy to that aspect of this area than the others. I will begin by walking more and also joining the YWCA to begin my yoga practice again.
Interpersonally, family is most significant, although I am not very involved with my community, I believe my family should be first, and as I write this the Tsunami in Japan is headed towards the West Coast which is where all my family is, so clearly this brings it home in a way that is far more devastating than I would like. In terms of improvement because we live so far apart, I believe I can send more cards, call more, email more, text more, whatever it takes. Visiting is expensive and usually I would take my vacations once a year to see them, but finances have not allowed it in the last several years. Honestly, I believe I go over and above, but it seems as though I need to do more.
Lastly, Social Activism depending on how one looks at this is my weakest link. However, I just recently wrote a play that I am planning a workshop for within the next 6-8 months. The play is a feminist work and it deals with the issue of fragmented and marginalized women, sexual abuse, domestic violence, eating disorders and prostitution, so once the play is up and running my Social Activism responsibility will be fulfilled temporarily. With artistic endeavors that have a political bend to them getting support and production money can be challenging, but the work has been done. I am a activist for women and their issues this is my gift.
The only way to evolve is to face the fears we have, the things about us we don't like and move beyond them. Awareness is the first step in that growth process. Blessings everyone!
Johnnie I commend you on looking within yourself and being able to recognize your inner strengths as well as areas that are potentials fo growth. I am sure that your play will be right on with all the things that are happening in our world.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to see if I can rethink the issue of "problems" by starting to call them "opportunities for growth and development." I hope I am learning to start at the onset of any serious issue with a proper mind set instead of a defeatist attitude.
I will send positive energies toward your family on the west coast as I do towards the people of Japan.
Chey
ReplyDeleteI have to say I really like that "opportunities for growth and development". The statement is really true. I think back many times and look at the hardships that I have had in my life and I have learned so much from them, even though they where difficult times. If we didn't have problems life would be boring don't ya think?
Johnnie: Congrat's about your play:) It sounds like it will be a wonderful play. Have you seen the movie yet colored girls by Tyler Perry? I guess your synopse reminds me a little of that and I have to say that is a wonderful movie. Probably one of the best movies I have watched. Good luck with it and I love your post this week..
Hi Johnnie I like how you used each phase of of the Psychospiritual - Conative,Biological - Fitness,Interpersonal - Family Worldy - Social Activism, I just feel that since I first start reading your class post and the blogg you seem to have had a plan and this course is just like the icing on the cake for your accomplishments. great sharing post Johnnie.
ReplyDeleteDarlene
I can relate to your statement about being too brutal with yourself, I am the same way. I think that many people are like this, and although we say we have loved others, how could we really if we do not love ourselves (this seems to be coming up a lot in this class). I also want to say that I hope your family is safe from the tsunami. Namaste'
ReplyDeleteI think that we are all so hard on ourselves and I think it not healthy. I think we focus too much on our faults and are last to forgive ourselves when something goes wrong. That's something we should all work on because we have to forgive ourselves to truly love ourselves.
ReplyDeleteHi everybody,
ReplyDeleteI started with reading Johnnie's blog and I was ready to comment when I continued to all of the other valuable comments already presented. I must agree with the consensus of being too hard on yourself and that is probably blocking the ability to love someone else unconditionally. Do you think it could be a female thing? We desire so much to nurture and fix things even when they are not ours to fix.
I would also like to agree with all of those who are lifting your family in Japan in prayer, Johnnie. Once again, gratefulness comes to the surface for me with all of it different emotional experiences. The calm grateful that all the prayers of protection and comfort will be answered and excited grateful that we have been protected from that disaster.
Johnnie,
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I agree with everyone when they say that you shouldn't feel so or be so hard on yourself. But I have to break down and say that I feel the same way. I am disgusted with myself and the way that I look, but I am lazy to the point of no return. When I have money I can't see to do anything with it but to spend it. Its a habit of mine that I can't seem to break. But Im proud of myself being that I still have just about half of my tax return left or a little more. lol. But what I am saying is that you are not alone! If you want, just email me. If you wanna talk outside of here. Thanks!
Kelly
I must agree with you, one of the most important aspects of spiritual development as well the development in other areas is to love ourselves. Through love kindness meditation I realized that I need to love myself more by spending time to do what I like the most. I also realized that I must say no to ridiculous demands at work, so I can free more time for myself, and my family. This exercise was great!
ReplyDeleteMichelle Ortiz